Within the world of trauma healing, there’s a lot of emphasis on the practice of grounding… feeling calm and rooted. In my experience, grounding has felt totally inaccessible at times. What I love about anchoring is that it doesn’t require us to fully come back into contact with the ground. When I imagine a ship’s anchor, I think about how the ship floats above on the water, knowing that the anchor is connected to the floor beneath.
Margeaux Feldman

Anchored began in 2018, after I attended an intuition card workshop with friend and talented artist, Or Har-Gil. I was a year into living with chronic pain and chronic dissociation, and I found myself unable to write (my go-to mode of creative expression). Words felt scrambled around in my brain, and my wrists were in too much pain to type. I knew that I needed an outlet for creativity, and that I needed a tool to help anchor me through the waves of dissociation and immobilization.

Within the world of trauma healing, there’s a lot of emphasis on the practice of grounding. On a literal level, grounding is when we move out of states of nervous system activation – fight, flight, freeze, submit – by feeling the ground underneath us; on a metaphorical level, grounding is feeling calm and rooted. In my experience, grounding has felt totally inaccessible at times. Perhaps because there is no earth in my astrology chart. Perhaps because I’ve always felt my calmest when I’m in or near water.

 

Now of course, water can be grounding. But I’m a writer who spends a lot of time thinking about the meaning of words. I needed different language, and so I came to the word “anchor.” In their tarot practice, Lindsay Mack explains that “Anchoring is when we intentionally develop a root system of safety around a practice, or a tool—the breath, a certain person, deity, phrase or mantra, prayer, scent, etc–so that we can call upon it in moments of distress.” For Mack, “Anchors help us to stay in our center when the inner storms rage. They can act as a foundation in moments when we feel that the bottom has dropped out of our lives, an experience and feeling that is shared by many trauma survivors.”

What I love about anchoring is that it doesn’t require us to fully come back into contact with the ground. When I imagine a ship’s anchor, I think about how the ship floats above on the water, knowing that the anchor is connected to the floor beneath.

Deb Dana, a trauma specialist in polyvagal theory, shares similar reflections in her book Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory:

I grew up around the water, understanding how anchors are essential to staying safe in response to changing conditions. An anchor digs into the ocean floor with enough line between it and the boat to hold the boat safely in one place but with enough leeway to move in response to changes in the sea and wind. Safety comes with a firmly embedded anchor and the right amount of line. When we are anchored, we have a sense of being safely held so we can venture out without becoming adrift. We are connected to a state of regulation and have room to explore the world around us.

I love the spaciousness that Dana speaks to. That there is “enough line” to hold the boat steadily in place, with “enough leeway” to intentionally adapt to the shifting weather.

I lost my anchors when my mother died when I was 11. Her death (one anchor lost) led to another as my father pulled away, too deep in his own grief to tend to the impact of this traumatic event on my brother and I. At that time, I became a surrogate anchor for my 8-year old brother. As my father lost the use of his arms due to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), I too became his anchor. But I was left unmoored. And so I reached out for whatever tools I could find to help me survive: drugs, unprotected sex, alcohol, and other high risk behaviors. I no longer knew what safety was, as the very person who should’ve kept me safe became the person I needed to be protected from. When I started somatic therapy at the age of 31, I had no concept of what safety felt like. With the support of my therapist, we created new anchors together.

I know that therapy is not accessible to everyone, which is why I wanted to bring this deck into the world. I also wanted to help folks feel connected. It can so often feel like our healing happens in isolation. With this deck, each time you pull a card, know that you are connected to me and all of the other humans who’ve also chosen to bring this deck into their lives. Connection is not just a physical experience: it is a spiritual one too. We’re all little ships floating on the water, being jostled by the sea, with our individual anchors that help us feel safe. Collectively, with each new anchor, we become moored to one another.

There really is no right or wrong way to use the deck. You can shuffle and see what cards appear; pull one that’s imaginary or word is speaking to you; pair it with your tarot card pulls; draw cards with friends or clients; and put a card up on your fridge as a reminder. I created a bunch of spreads at the back of the guidebook if you’re looking for inspiration!

Since putting this deck out into the world, I’ve been so moved to hear about all of the different ways that folks have been using it, and the impact that it’s had on them:

“I am a stay-at-home mother and I have been sober for almost 7 years. The Anchored deck is helping me continue to come back to life after 10 years of active addiction. This tool is a sacred gift that teaches how to tend to our own body/mind/soul. The artwork is captivating and the guidebook is packed with knowledge and healing.”
– Rikki

“I love my deck. Since receiving it, I’ve made it a nighttime ritual to do a small spread or choose a card at random to think about and use as a writing prompt for my journal. I appreciate the ritual and framework that it creates for my writing and exploration. I’m navigating a difficult season emotionally and using this deck has helped me to further explore the subtext of my sadness and anger as I continue to integrate my past traumas with my present life. I’ve brought my deck with me to therapy appointments and to show friends.”
– Rebecca

“As a therapist and fellow human living with complex trauma, The Anchored Deck has been a valuable and playful tool for myself and my clients, especially the teens I work with. This unique deck includes layers of wisdom about the nervous system and the creative pursuit of reconnecting with ourselves over and over.  I love the invitations for action the cards include as well– using Anchored is both an inward reflection and a gentle mobilizing force. It’s even inspired some of my teen clients to make their own collages. I know Anchored will continue traveling with me from house to office, on trips, and into my nature adventures. It is a grounding tool that I continue to find a home within.”
– Katie